


I'm Not Going To Lose You

by WinchesterGospels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:42:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1666790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterGospels/pseuds/WinchesterGospels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You comfort Sam in his time of need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Spoilers if you haven't seen the Season 9 finale.

The smell of alcohol hits your nose the minute you reach the hallway. Walking towards Sam’s room, you brace yourself for what might be behind that door.

Dean was dead. You knew that. The image of Metatron’s blade plunging through Dean’s chest was seared in your brain forever.

Walking in, you breathed a small sigh of relief. Sam was passed out at his desk with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey clutched in his hand. You walked over and as you set down your bag you could see Sam’s tear-stained cheeks covered by his tangled brown hair. His breathing was slow and deep, he was finally sleeping. You didn’t want to disturb him, so you gently pried the bottle from his hand and set it aside. Ducking under his massive arm, you tried to guide him gently to the bed just four feet away.

Being that Sam was much bigger than you, you only succeeded in dropping like a stone. Thankfully, you managed to fall so that Sam was on top and he was probably too drunk to notice anyways. You sat there for a minute, quietly hoping he wouldn’t wake up. Sam deserved nothing that had ever happened to him in his life, and you could only hope that this sleep provided him some escape.

You sat there, running your fingers through Sam’s hair with his head leaned against your chest, humming softly. In the quiet darkness of Sam’s room your mind began to catch up, processing the night’s events. Dean was dead. He was gone. Cas was missing, maybe dead. Crowley didn’t show when Sam had summoned him.

Dean was dead.

You had held it together for Sam, letting him have his time with Dean’s body, letting him drink himself to sleep, letting him scream and cry and curse. You held it together when you went in by yourself and sat beside Dean’s bed, seeing the color and warmth drained from his once vibrant body. You had held it together when Sam had fallen apart, but now you couldn’t hold it any longer.

You let the tears fall and the sobs ripped through your body like a tornado ripping through a small country town. You tried not to wake Sam, but you couldn’t control the choking sounds any more. It wasn’t long before Sam began to stir. You hadn’t realized it but your hands gripped at his shirt tightly and your tears had trailed down to his face. Quickly, before he could gather his surroundings, you loosened your grip and wiped your tears.

“Sam. Hey, shhh no don’t get up…” you tried to stop him from getting up too quickly.

“Y/n? W-where am I?” He looked around, confused for a moment by the darkness of the room and the hardness of the cement beneath the two of you.

“We’re in your room. I tried to get you into bed and, well, it didn’t really work.” You admitted sheepishly.

“Why didn’t you just ask De-.” His voice cut off before he could finish his sentence. His voice went cold and his body stiffened. You wrapped your arms around Sam, trying to pull him back to you. He yanked out of your grasp and let his face fall into his hands. You could see his shoulders shake as tears trailed down his face once again. Trying again, you slide closer and rest your head to his shoulder and sling an arm around his back. After a few moments, you can feel him soften under your touch.  Pulling him back to your chest, you whisper in his ear.

“It’s…it’s okay to cry, Sam.” You were never good at this sort of thing. Comforting people freaked you out actually, but as if waiting for your cue, Sam let loose again. Loud, wailing cries echoed throughout the bunker. You felt him grab at you, burying his head into your chest. You rocked him softly, rubbing his back. There was nothing to say, he had lost his brother. All you could do was be there for him, no matter what that meant. Eventually, his cries faded to soft whimpers. You hated to see him like this, Sam, normally so put together and in control.

Cupping your hands to his face, you bring him up to eye level.

“Sam. I know this is impossible, but you – we – are going to get through this. I _promise_ that if it is the last thing I do, we will make it through.” You had no idea how you were going to make good on that promise but you couldn’t bear to think of Sam just letting his life go.

Your eyes searched his and you could see that he was barely hanging on. Before you could stop yourself, you leaned in and kissed him. Softly, you let your lips mold against his. He didn’t return the kiss at first, and you started to pull away, inwardly cursing your impulsiveness. Before you could apologize, Sam’s lips crashed into yours, silencing your apologies. His mouth moved against yours, desperate and hungry to fill the ragged hole in his soul.

Before you knew it, Sam had sat up and pulled you into his lap. You straddled him, legs wrapped around his waist. You gasped when you felt Sam’s tongue at your lips. With a moan, you let him in. You tugged gently at his long hair, pleased when you heard a low groan from Sam. He stood quickly, his lust for you growing by the second. His hands grabbed at your ass has he slammed you into the wall, grinding his hips against you. You could feel the bulge in his jeans grow larger and tighter with each push into you.

“Sam?” you breathed, you didn’t want this to stop, but you couldn’t help but wonder if Sam might regret this later. Maybe this was all stemming from a need to release other emotions.

“Yeah?” he whispered against your neck. His breathe was warm against your skin and you shivered with pleasure.

“Sam. Please. Is this…is this right? Do you really want this?” Sam stopped kissing your neck. He let you slide your legs off his waist as he set you down. Taking a step back, he turned to sit on the edge of his bed. You slide to the floor, partly to rest your shaking legs and partly to keep a distance for the moment.

“Y/n. Dean is dead. He’s gone. Forever. And it’s my fault.” Sam’s voice broke and he clenched his jaw, tears threatening to make a reappearance once again. Before they could, you stood up. He was tired and needed to sleep. Walking over to the bed, you gently pushed Sam to lay down. You slipped off his boots, noticing that they were stained red. Red with Dean’s blood. Before Sam could react, you tossed them by the door, making a mental note to wash them before he noticed. You unbuttoned his shirt and eased it off his shoulders, and you stripped him of his belt and jeans. Leaving him in his undershirt and boxers, you pulled the comforter over him. Just as you turned to leave, his hand shot out and gripped your wrist.

“Please…don’t leave me. Not tonight.” He whispered desperately.

You turned and could see the redness in his eyes, his exhaustion was overwhelming. Slipping of your own boots, you shrugged out of your jacket.

“Of course, Sam. Of course I’ll stay.” You crawled into the bed next to him. Pulling you tight, he buried his face into your hair. His arms tightened around you, afraid to lose anything else he held dear. After a while, you felt his grip loosen, his breathing evened out, and you knew he was asleep. Wriggling out of his arms, you turned to face the other way.

His jaw slack and mouth slightly open, he finally looked at peace. Some loose strands of hair fell across his face. You reached up, brushing the hair from his face, and kissed his forehead.

“I don’t know what to do, Sammy, but we’ll figure something out. I’m not going to lose you.” You whispered. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean had been dead for a few weeks now. Well, dead was one way to put it. You could remember the first moment you saw Dean walk out his room, inky black eyes, unblinking and un-feeling. Sam had shoved you behind himself, pulling out Ruby’s old knife. You blinked and he was gone.

Sam had summoned Crowley at least four times a day for two weeks straight, but somehow he was able to dodge it. With no answers and no way to move forward, you and Sam just stayed around the bunker, laying low until something came up. Cas was still MIA, not answering any prayers.

Today was Sam’s day to get the food, so while he was out, you just wandered the bunker aimlessly. As you passed Sam’s room, you saw that the door was open. You hadn’t been in since the night Dean died. It was Sam’s space; you wanted to give him as much privacy as you could. You could see in the light that there was nothing on the walls. Sam was a simple guy and it showed. Just as you turned to leave, something on his desk caught your eye. Upon closer inspection, you could see that it was a picture of Sam and Dean. They looked younger, happier. A far cry from tired veterans you had come to know.

“Y/n?” Sam’s voice snapped you back to reality and you spun around.

“Sam! Oh man. I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to – I mean – I’m leaving. Sorry.” You managed to stammer out before you made your way to the door. Just before you could walk out, Sam stuck his arm out in front of you, blocking your way.

  
Sam had bent his head down close to your face, his hazel eyes burning into yours. Before you could open your mouth to speak, Sam’s lips crashed into yours. The kiss was messy, desperate, passionate. Moving his hand from the door frame, Sam’s arms wrapped tight against your waist, turning you against the wall. Nipping gently at your bottom lip, you moaned into his mouth as he raised your arms above your head. Holding your wrists in one hand, he cupped your face gently with the other, his thumb gently smoothing over the skin on your cheek.

Sam let his kisses trail down your jaw, to your neck, and along your collarbone until you let out a soft hiss. His lips stopped and began to work on the sensitive skin. Gasping softly, you tugged your wrists against his grasp and he let go, still sucking at the sweet spot on your neck. Twisting your fingers through his long dark hair, you held him tight, wishing he would never stop. He did though, but only for a moment as he began to work at the buttons on your shirt. Free of your shirt, you reached back to unsnap your bra.

“Wait,” Sam stops you, pushing your hand away. He leaned back in for another kiss, but this time it was slower, gentler. He sighed softly as his tongue traced your bottom lip. His warm, calloused hands brushed down your sides, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake as they came to rest on your hips. His thumbs tugged gently at your belt loops, pulling you closer to his body. You felt his jeans tighten against your hips, the bulge in his pants growing bigger as you moaned against his neck.

“Sam,” you breathed softly. Your hands worked quickly at his belt, slipping it off in no time. You pulled at his dark grey t-shirt until he raised his arms. Pulling it off, you drew a sharp breath at the chiseled muscles that had been hidden underneath. You let your fingertips graze across the tanned flesh. As you ghosted your hand across his chest, you could feel him shudder under your touch. You pulled away quickly, afraid you might have done something wrong.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be,” he replied huskily, lust dripping from each word. In one swift motion, he had your jeans unbuttoned and on the floor, and was working at his own pair. The pair of you stood there, silent and staring and stripped to your underwear. Taking your hand, Sam pulled you toward the bed, gently laying you down before lowering himself at your knees. Spreading your legs, he left kisses along your inner thigh as he moved to your soaking core.

“Sam, please…” Sam seemed to be taking his sweet time, kissing and touching everywhere but where you wanted him to. His hands traced the waistband of your panties, his mouth sucking at the skin his fingers touched. Suddenly, you felt his mouth through the cloth of your underwear, sucking and teasing at your nub. Your hands grabbed at fistfuls of the sheets as you gasped in surprise. His hot mouth moved to your stomach, leaving an aching sensation behind in your pussy.

As he moved his kisses up to your chest, you felt his hands snake around and unclasp your bra. Flinging the clothing across the room, he took a moment to look at you. He seemed transfixed by you, as if he hadn’t seen a more beautiful woman in all creation.

“_____, wow. You are…stunning,” he whispered. You blushed, unsure of how to respond. It didn’t matter, he was kissing you again before you could speak. As he was, you felt his hands slip under your panties, his long fingers sliding along your wet folds. His thumb drew circles around your clit while he slipped one, then two fingers inside of you. He began to pump in and out of you, slowly at first but he picked up his pace as your breathing grew erratic.  
Raking your nails down his bare back, you groaned loudly. No longer in control, your body writhed under his, squirming as he expertly worked his fingers around your dripping sex.

“Sam, please, I need you…all of you.”

Understanding what you meant, he pulled his hand away and you pouted a little. A small grin, the first in weeks, spread across Sam’s face. He yanked down his boxers, freeing his massive cock that had grown hard with all the night’s exploits. Before he could get any further, you sat up from under him and took his cock into your hand. You began to pump up and down his shaft as you kissed at his neck. His stubble tickled at your face as you let your mouth explore the new territory.

As you increased your pace, you felt Sam buck softly against your hand. His breathing was ragged and low, throaty moans escaped his lips. You could feel him tense up and you knew he was close. Before he could feel any release, you stopped and pushed him down to the bed, straddling his hips. Biting your lip gently, you lined up Sam’s massive length to your opening. Sinking down, you had to go slow, letting yourself adjust to his cock inside of you.

“Shit,” Sam groaned, “_____! Oh god, you are so fucking tight!”

Soon, you started to rock your hips, allowing him to slide in and out of you. He must have felt your pace was too slow because his hands gripped at your waist tightly and he began to thrust faster and faster. Before you could do anything, he had flipped you over so you were underneath him. He began to pound you into the mattress.

“Shit Sam! Fucking hell, oh my god!” you exclaimed. There weren’t words for the ecstasy that coursed through your body. His hands gripped your breasts and he massaged them roughly. The pads of his thumbs ran over your nipples, hardening them into nubs. Leaning down, he took one into his mouth, sucking and biting until you began to scream.

“Sam!” you cried.

“Scream it. Scream my name, _________. I want the world to hear you screaming my name,” he demanded roughly. At this point your words had become incoherent. Even his name was too much for you to say at the moment.

“Oh god I love the feeling of your tight pussy wrapped around my cock,” Sam whispered into your ear, pulling away from your breasts. His words only brought you closer to the edge. Reaching up you pulled at his hair, running your fingers along his scalp. Sam’s hips stuttered, losing their pacing. You could see a sheen of sweat developing on his chest and you knew that he was close too.

One, two, three more thrusts and Sam began to coat your pussy with his seed. Your vision clouded around the edges as pleasure washed over you. Your orgasm surged throughout your body and your shouts mixed with his as they echoed across the bunker.

Sam collapsed in a sweaty heap beside you, the two of you breathing heavy but satisfied. Silently, he pulled you into his chest, one arm around your waist and the other across your shoulders. Looking down at you, he smiled for the second time that night.

“_______,” he began softly “Thank you. For everything. I know the last few weeks I’ve been…less than pleasant. I just – “

“Sam, no.” You cut him off before he could say another word. “I can’t fathom the hurt and pain you must feel, but there is nowhere else I would rather be than by your side. I’m sorry, but it’s going to take a lot to get rid of me. Unless, of course, you want me to go…” you trailed off. Sam’s grip tightened around you.

“Never. If you left, I don’t know where I’d be.” He kissed your forehead, the tip of your nose, and eventually he kissed your lips. Soft and gentle, like he always was with you, he only broke the kiss to whisper into your ear, “Please don’t ever leave me.”

“Never. You’re never going to lose me.”

With that, you let yourself drift off to sleep to Sam running his fingers through your hair and softly planting kisses to your forehead. The next few weeks and months were going to be hard, probably the hardest you’d ever live through, but somehow you knew it would all be fine if you stayed right where you were.


End file.
